I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
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dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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