Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
