No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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