I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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