I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
