He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
