maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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