Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
