He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize