ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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