He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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