To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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