One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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