Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
