You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
