Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
