This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
