Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
