I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
