this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
