I got chris browned last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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