Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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