Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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