i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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