The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
