That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
