found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
