i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
