Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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