It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
