i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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