May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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