Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize