I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yo dont text me then not text me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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