There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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