They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
