I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
