Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
