you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
