I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
