He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
