I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
