Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize