i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize