Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
