dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
