their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
