You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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