hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
