Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
