If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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