Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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