I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
