they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize