I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
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I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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