He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
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I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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