we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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