Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
