tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
