i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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