Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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