i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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