If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
