Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
