i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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