he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Come on in and take your pants off
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