I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
