kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
