Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just blew my weed a kiss
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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