so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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