Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
is it fun? or sober?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
