I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How does one acquire holy water?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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