we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
