I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....