She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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