She is in my trunk
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.